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Posts Tagged ‘free speech’

Within Liberty

Saturday, August 8th, 2009

Introduction

The great John Milton, referring to American eloquence, said: “Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.” It seems that within the framework of what constitutes “liberty”, the lighted fire called “free-speech” is the greatest sight. The cracks and fissures in the monument we have to human solidarity – supported by the pillars Rights, Liberty, Freedom, Equality – is made to echo by simply the function of free-speech. In order to fix the problems, we must first identify them; this can only be done by the same tools that made them, that raised such a monument to the heights man has allowed himself. To such heights have we been able to gaze far into the future, deeply into grains of sand, and eloquently into our deepest selves. The problems we find – in the future, the grains and ourselves – are made apparent by the liberty to speak. Silence does not remove problems, it only covers them with a transparent veil. To fill the fissures, to smooth the sutures, we must open our eyes and minds and mouths and be prepared to engage with our own fallibility.

We dislike hearing of our own failings and here-in we must allow some support. None wants to be thought a failure. Yet, there is a vast chasm between missing a step and plummeting to the ground. People often mistake the latter for the former, their emotions matching the overzealous self-harm. Jane has forgotten her child at school, thus she is a failure as a mother. She feels the brunt and punishes herself emotionally even when she picks up her child two hours later. But she is not a failure, she is a fallible human. Yes, she has made a mistake. We do not aid Jane by mocking her, though we silently rebuke her to each other. As Bertrand Russell said, we do not gossip about each other’s virtues. The point remains however that she is not a complete failure, though her emotions are dictating as such.

Many will argue that such strong emotions prevent the recurrence of such a mistake. The punishment is done for the benefit of both Jane and her child. This is certainly true, but the problem remains to what extent do we allow such cross-firing to take in collateral damage. That is, how far do we take such a loathing of failing into the public sphere?

The Loathing of Failing and Berlin’s Concepts of Freedom

Jane is not a failure as human being to forget her child, though her actions are examples of what a terrible mother would do. However, it was not Jane’s intention to forget or leave her child (how does one deliberately forget anyway?). She made a mistake and, as a human being, this will happen. No one, not even Megan Fox, is perfect (though in the looks department, she comes “close”). Thus Jane must forgive herself and continue, trying harder. This is a healthy way to progress and better herself. Mistakes are not wooden-planks to produce our own crucifix, but to take higher steps toward an intended destination. This false-dichotomy plays out when it sets it sights on the freedom of others.

The reason to restrict anything within a society, that is curb liberty, is a form of coercion. This might be under the archway of what Isaiah Berlin calls “negative liberty”. To better understand “negative” notions of freedom (within Berlin’s context, freedom and liberty are interchangeable), we can also focus on its corollary.

Berlin states, in his famous essay Two Concepts of Liberty, that negative freedom is defined by the absence of coercion. As Nigel Warburton has succinctly stated: “Coercion is when other people force you to behave in a particular way, or force you to stop behaving in a particular way. If no one is coercing you then you are free in this negative sense of freedom.” An example might be that no curfew prevents one being on the streets, no police force prevents one from driving down to see friends, and so on. If one was prevented because of a curfew, police presence, threats of violence, then one would not be free (in this negative sense).

Berlin then goes on to define a positive conception of freedom. This is the freedom to do as one wants with one’s life, within that life’s context. As Berlin puts it with his usual beautiful phrasing: ” ‘positive freedom’ – the doctrine of self-adjustment to the unalterable pattern of reality in order to avoid being  destroyed by it.” The big concept is self-realisation and the actions toward exercising control over one’s life – rescinding such rights is absolving one’s positive freedom. The point is to help people realise their best virtues, their greatest strengths, their abilities. An example is someone who is stuck in a relationship with an abusive partner – no one is forcing her to stay in the relationship. The partner has told her to leave and abuses her emotionally and sometimes physically. Though the abusive partner is telling her to leave, she keeps telling herself she “loves” him. Her friends and family know this relationship is bad for her and if she could learn to love and appreciate herself more, she would realise she deserves better. In this context, she is not free – even though no one is stopping her from leaving this terrible relationship.

Thus, positive freedom is freedom to do something, as opposed to negative which is freedom from something.  Positive freedom might be thought of under the domain of “rights”. This means the allowance of slight paternalistic interferences – such that, someone who is wasting their life would be put on a better path. However, if the former part of the previous paragraph is troubling – talk of what’s best for the citizen, making them better people – then one is not in solitary company. Berlin himself maintains a heightened suspicion of positive freedom. Throughout history we have seen governments do the most horrid actions in the name of bettering themselves and their citizens.

So, positive freedom is the way one’s freedom is outlined – as outlined perhaps by declaration of rights and constitutions – and negative freedom is lack of coercion when performing certain actions.

Free speech is the ability to speak or express oneself without fear of being “coerced” into silence or violence. Thus, as the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy also states, freedom of speech is a negative freedom. Curbing it thus rescinds liberty, not so much bending as breaking it.

Removing freedom of speech is done out of this hatred or loathing of failure (and perhaps other reasons, though I won’t be addressing those here, since I am dealing with freedom of speech in a societal framework). People do not want to hear contradictory remarks about their most deeply held beliefs. The important point here is that the very existence of a challenge to conventional views is evidence of liberty and freedom. It was of course the Greeks who started this idea that one should challenge tradition (what the classicist Peter Jones calls “the tradition of challenging tradition”), basing thought and inquiry into and, more importantly, from the human realm, since this is the only realm that has utility. Even if one is completely wrong to speak out against evolution or Darwinism or cosmology, the fact remains that the established view is forced to cement itself within a stronger foundation. This means more of those who accept the established views within a framework – so the majority of scientists and Darwinism, the majority of liberals and freedom – must almost relearn their views, express them eloquently and understand why their views are better than their opponents’. Notice: I did not say their views are “true” or “perfect”. According to Karl Popper, we should work with ideas that are strongest against its counter-theories. We have ideas that withstood the onslaught of prevailing criticisms. Beneath the storm of outrage, these are the ideas that bloom even in the fog of obscurity, the rain of anger and thunder of discontent.

But these ideas only come to fruition with the ability to express them. Hating an opponent’s view, simply because it upsets or hurts one’s feelings, is not reason enough to rescind freedom of speech.

Religions are often the  groups responsible for demanding censorship,  banning and burning. Throughout modern history, it has been the policy of papal instruction to burn books that speak out against god,  to restrict scientific inquiries which upset the geocentric world-view, and the demand from an Iranian leader to kill a man who lives in London for writing a work of fiction. Unfortunately, religions have been granted so much freedom within a liberal and secular framework that it has poisoned the well of freedom for all. The religions have taken hold of the bucket and laugh as we flail for our fingertips to touch the water’s surface. Instead, our wavering reflections on the water mock us and the bucket is punctured by the religions’ thorny retribution. Now, whenever we reach in to drink from freedom, most of it drains out because of the loopholes driven in by the religions.

This is not meant to sound extreme or to highlight that we have lost this battle. It is true that talking of liberty is hardly ever done in the context of praising it – it is usually done to defend it.

So to be able to express views, within the framework of rescinded coercion, is the most important element of any form of liberty. To encroach upon that fundamental framework for the purposes of avoiding hurt feelings is to ignore that one is rendering the framework hollow. The religious tend to forget that freedom of speech to criticise should be met by freedom to criticise back. In most other areas, it seems that many religious people share the fundamental principles of a liberal society. Yet it is no irony that we often hear about protestations (from where, ironically but unsurprisingly, Protestants derive their name), from religious groups, against the most important value within a free society: free-speech.

The Silencing of Mankind – Why Free Speech Matters

Consider any other fundamental right or important element of freedom – such as equality, justice, and avoidance of harm. All these would be close to nothing if freedom of speech was eliminated, undermined or restricted. Indeed, though freedom of speech is fourteen shades of grey, it is grey nonetheless – not black and white. We can only talk about freedom of speech with freedom of speech; we can only highlight restrictions to our rights with free-speech; we can only find power in numbers to eliminate despotism with free speech.  The first mark of a society that is ruled by a totalitarian regime is when there is no freedom of speech (this does not mean that all totalitarian regimes did not allow free-speech, only that it is a clear indication of a violation of an important freedom).

If we arbitrarily demarcate lines based on nothing but the “tyranny” of “majority” opinion, as Mill viewed it, then we have got no closer to doing best for mankind. All we have done is catered to the feelings of one group – even if it is the majority. Even if the whole of mankind believes the earth flat, the planet remains stubbornly spherical. A better writer than myself, John Stuart Mill, put it like this:

If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind. (”On Liberty”, Chapter II. Of the Liberty of Thought and Discussion, 1869 – Italics mine.)

“Silencing mankind”. The power of Mill’s image is a resounding call to prevent a gag being placed in the mouth of humanity. Mill’s point on the censor himself runs further. The censor must assume infallibility when censoring a work, since he must know beyond all doubt that a work is better off being censored. But this is blatantly incorrect since no one can be absolutely correct in their judgements. The difficulty of course could be shifted to the other extreme: allowing a work to be published which causes harm. The point however that we need to address is that people must be given the choice. When a work is banned, restricted or pulled from distribution, a censor has taken it upon himself to read a work for a whole society. This is paternalism of the worst kind, grinding our emotional maturity into a fine powder of obedience. It seems that on the whole it would be better that a work is presented, even if it does cause harm, as this leads to the overarching growth of maturity in our species. Censoring seems to only allow for juvenile and loud voices to find support for their views: for example, a work is censored, a few “liberals” cry out. No one is hurt. A work is not censored and someone is killed by fanatics who are offended by it. The latter of course we have seen occur to the Japanese translator of The Satanic Verse. Whilst it might appear harsh that we should risk our lives for the sake of some ideal, like freedom, it seems we risk our lives and freedom by not standing up for it. The allowance of religious arrogance threatens every aspect of freedom one can name: personal autonomy, sexuality, friendship, fashion, careers.

Yet some things should be contentious for the liberal agenda, such as racist or misogynist writings. But then, they should be rejected from publication not because it hurts people’s feelings, but because of poor scholarship. I for example would be very interested to read a case, based on reason, evidence and good logic, that states we are better off denigrating women, treating them like cattle, and reducing their minds to dull throbs of rhythmic idiocy. I would like to read this because I know – as far as I know anything – that I never will. The case for the equality of humanity and the emancipation of women is so strong, in terms of a Popperian paradigm, that we can easily backhand arguments against it.

Thus it seems the censor is useless. Who is this person reading works for society? Who is deciding for the average citizen that material is too harsh?

Progress in terms of equality comes about through discussion. Limiting access to the public domain of ideas is to prevent the growth of these ideas toward the betterment of society. Before we can allow the ideas to come to fruition, we must have a foundation open to the light of reason and comprehension. Lucidity, ease of access and an understanding that ideas are fallible and to be contested should be the benchmark for policies that we decide for ourselves. Arbitrarily limiting or restricting certain forms of information assumes, as previously said, infallibility from the censor and as Mill also highlighted, the problem that the restricted document could contain the truth we seek.

The final problem in limiting free speech or censoring a work is the assumption that: only one group is harmed, or, if the whole of society is harmed, that no one benefits. Both are wrong. If, as constantly occurs, Muslims are offended by a work of art or fiction or the way someone scratches their nose, those targets are censored to placate Muslims (similarly when other religious groups cry out that they are offended). Now, that work of art is gone completely and the Muslims are satisfied. But what about the artist, the producer, the audience, and so on, who do appreciate it? Their concerns are swept aside to placate one group because they are religious as opposed to artistic or academic. Religions should not have a moral high ground but should be on the plateau of equality with the rest of us. Then we can speak of judging something; not because the religious groups hanker over us, but because we are all equally horrified at a dog being tortured to death as a work of art, equally dissatisfied with publication of some poor novel. This would mean that religions are taken seriously, not because they are religious people, but because they are people. Mature people, treated as such to show that we want to put them in line with ourselves, as adults dealing with a chaotic world. Not as children who have loud voices and toys of mass destruction they throw out their cot of platitude.

And the second point, that no one benefits is also wrong. By a group censoring or crying for a limit to the free speech in this instance, they prevent themselves from judging it. How many Muslims read The Satantic Verses before deciding Rushdie & Co. should die? How many people bothered to see the cartoons made by Jyllends-Posten before they marched in the streets, demanding death and blood of those who mocked Islam? In these instances, the groups would have benefited by simply engaging with the work. They then have a choice: ignore the silly infidels who just do not understand the power of Allah or retaliate by drawing satirical pictures of the cartoonists, writing a strongly-worded letter (minus death-threats) and so on. There are ways of “retaliating” that do not cross the bounds of discourse to enter the minefield of violence. Muslims reacting in such brash, harmful and violent ways are not making Islam any more a “religion of peace” or their faith any more acceptable by behaving in such stupid, childish ways. If religions want to be taken seriously, they must accept the rules of adult discussion which govern our growth and not the monkey-bars of juvenile delinquency that lets them leap over the lines of conduct we have in place.

This even before equality, justice, and equal suffrage. This before the inducing of minds toward intellectual adventure and fulfilment regardless of race, sex and ethnicity. This all before we decide on how create a path to glory, unifying our shaking hands and raising a platform toward peace. Freedom of speech is itself the decider in what should be free. Not everything should be said or spoken but the decision as to what we shall say, read or publish can only be decided on an open platform, using reason and not emotion as the yardstick. All this can only occur with the freedom to speak, ideas flying across the mental landscape like a flock of migrant birds blackening the ground with their shadows. Freedom starts with the first flap of wings and the dilation of the pupil toward the horizon. Now we can set off and take our wings toward a more peaceful horizon.

Publisher of The Jewel of Medina Firebombed

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

London based publisher Gibson Square, who is publishing the controversial The Jewel of Medina, was firebombed over the weekend.

“The bomb was placed through a letter slot in Rynja’s north London home, which doubles as the office of Gibson Square…Police had the home under surveillance and broke down the door to put out the fire with the help of firefighters…Three men were arrested on suspicion “of the commission, preparation or instigation of acts of terrorism,” the police said.”

The Jewel of Medina has been flooding my Google reader over the past few months as it picked up new publishers after being dropped by Random House for fear of violent reactions.  Random House was rightfully condemned for its actions by Salman Rushdie, who once relied on Random House to publish his Fatwa inspiring The Satanic Verses.

Despite the threat of violent reactions, Gibson Square will proceed to publish the novel, and Sherry Jones (the author) will go ahead with public appearances.

It is a sad state of affairs that some of the most courageous people in the world today are authors who just want to write what they want.  Sherry Jones isn’t even trying to criticize Islam.  But that doesn’t seem to matter, because fundamentalist Muslims are in need of a funny bone.  The only bone they do have is a hard on for violent reactions in the name of Allah and his prophet Mohamed.

Afternote: I couldn’t find anywhere that the firebombs were planted in the name of Islam.  However, this seems to be implied in the articles I read, and it’s very likely.

South Park + Free Speech = a Bad Day for Religion Part 3 – Islam

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

While attacking faiths like Scientology and Christianity might stir up some controversy, poking fun at Islam is like pissing on a bee hive.  Maybe this is why Parker and Stone have stayed away from attacking it a lot.  They consistently portray Jesus, but only once portray Mohamed.  Portraying Mohamed, of course, is not allowed in the Muslim faith, but what many people don’t realize is that any prophet of Islam is not allowed to be depicted, and Jesus is a Muslim prophet.  In a sneaky way, SP has always mocked Islam, even if they didn’t know it.

The one time they actually did portray Mohamed was in the episode “Super Best Friends”.  He was part of the super best friends, had the superpower of fire, and had to help destroy a giant Abraham Lincoln.  To everyone’s surprise, no one seemed to care and this episode went unnoticed to the waiting bee hives of “fundamentalist” Muslims.

What really stirred the nest was the epic two-parter in season 11 entitled “Cartoon Wars.”  This episode was a reaction to the Jyllands-Posten Muhammad cartoons controversy.  In this episode, Family Guy is planning on airing an image of Mohamed which throws American’s into a state of fear that the Muslim world will retaliate.  Their solution?  They bury their heads in the sand to show the Muslims that they didn’t want to watch it.

But Kyle stands up for free speech and in a touching speech where he says “If you don’t show Mohammed, then you’ve made a distinction of what is okay to poke fun at, and what isn’t. Either it’s all okay, or none of it is,” convinces the President of Fox to air the episode.  Coincidentally, Comedy Central censored SP’s image of Mohamed in fear of a Muslim retaliation.  Parker and Stone used this censoring as meta-humour by showing a black screen saying “Comedy Central has refused to broadcast an image of Muhammad on their network.”  Kyle’s plea to the network executive was the exact wording of Parker and Stone’s plea to the president of Comedy Central.

The censoring they were making fun of in their episode actually happened to the show itself, only concreting their point that the only reason we don’t depict Mohamed is because we’re scared of violent reactions.  At the very end of the episode SP shows Jesus defecating on President Bush; therefore mocking the general American public by showing how backwards it is that they can show the prophet in the hearts of most Americans defecating on the American President but not a simple image of Mohamed.

This two-parter ideally sums up SP’s view on religion and free speech.  The theme was primarily critiquing the West’s response to Muslim rioting, but it was much more than that.  It was a controversial episode thats message played itself out in the controversy it caused.  A speech by the character Stephen gets their message across perfectly,

“Freedom of speech is at stake here, don’t you all see? If anything, we should all make cartoons of Mohammed, and show the terrorists and the extremists that we are all united in the belief that every person has a right to say what they want!  And if we aren’t willing to risk what we have, then we just believe in free speech, but we don’t defend it.”

If you bury your head in the sand, like the Americans in SP, then you’re not defending free speech.  Parker and Stone risked their lives by depicting Mohamed in the name of free speech.

In conclusion, one things is for sure when it comes to SP, nothing that’s held sacred is safe from being challenged.  If you want to bury your head in the sand like the Americans in SP then you’re just someone who believes in free speech, but doesn’t defend it.  Kudos South Park, you are true champions of one of our most cherished civil rights, free speech.

Afterword,

SP has also critiqued Judaism, Mormonism, and even Atheism.  However, I felt their depictions didn’t warrant their own sections in this post.  In a future post I will tackle these three together.

Part 1 – Scientology
Part 2 – Christianity

Citations for all three posts

Arp, Robert. “South Park and Philosophy: You Know I Learned Something Today.” Oxford: Blackwell Publishing, 2007.

David, Koepsell.  “Blasphemy and South Park.” Lecture, University of Waterloo, Ontario, Canada, 2007.

Hanley, Richard. “South Park and Philosophy: Bigger, Longer, and More Penetrating.” Chicago: Open Court Press, 2007.

Southparkstuff.com. 1 November, 2007. <http://www.southparkstuff.com/south_park_downloads/episode-related_downloads/south_park_scripts >

Progress at the UN

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

CFI’s own Austin Dacey, representative to the United Nations, has been making some headway with the help of the International Humanist and Ethical Union in blasting apart the proposed “defamation of religion” additions to the Human Rights Council.

Basically the idea behind “defamation of religion” would be that individual countries could pass laws preventing you from criticizing religions.  This is a short step from basically having the UN endorse blasphemy laws.

You can follow the latest updates from Dacey’s blog, The Secular Conscience, but here’s a quick summary of the (positive) progress they’ve been making:

The tide really does seem to be turning in the debate on combating defamation of religion – even to the point where there are hopes among some delegates that the concept will soon be buried, at least in the Human Rights Council.

Following attacks by France and Belgium last week on the notion of defamation of religion, several NGOs joined the attack on Thursday with several strong statements.

The Cairo Center for Human Rights Studies with Article 19, the European Center for Law and Justice, and Center for Inquiry in a joint statement with IHEU were among those who weighed in.

Gregor Puppinck of the European Centre for Law and Justice stated that they could not support the concept of defamation of religions or phobias when applied to religions or beliefs. The concept of phobia should not be employed as it did not describe reality but psychological instability. The use of the concept phobia victimised a part of the population. They also recalled that the concept of defamation was incompatible with human rights. It endangered the rights of religious minorities and would lead to international approval for blasphemy laws.

Pentacostal leader gets in on the cartoon-hating business

Sunday, September 21st, 2008

Apparently unsatisfied with his denomination’s current cache of craziness capital, CEO of the Assemblies of God George O. Wood (and yes, his title really is CEO) has fiercely criticized a Washington Times cartoon that makes light of Sarah Palin’s history of glossolalic indulgence. The Assemblies of God is a conservative Pentacostal denomination whose core doctrines include the belief that God’s greatest gift to you is proven by incomprehensible stammering, or as some like to mispronounce it, “speaking in tongues.”

The cartoon, which is only legitimately available to Washington Post subscribers, depicts Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin babbling nonsense into a cell phone with John McCain declaring that he has no idea what it means but that it gives him a “direct line to the Almighty!,” with the second panel showing a confused God on a cell phone telling an angel that he can’t understand the “dam’ right wing politician” on the other end.

I have categorized this article as a feature and not as news because there is no way for me to objectively report someone being so basely silly as George O. Wood is right now. The cartoon’s subject is obviously the play-acted piety of the religious right and has nothing to do with the practicing of speaking in tongues; the cartoon merely depicts glossolalia, and the fact that Wood has inferred slander from a frank depiction of his own beliefs says a lot about what he must think of the practice of speaking in tongues. It is a Charistmatic assertion that glossolalia (”the gift of tongues,” in certain circles) is a direct line with God, and it is a Charistmatic recognition that nobody really knows what any specific instance of glossolalia means qua language.

Are we seeing shades of the Jyllands-Posten Mohammed cartoons episode? I don’t think so. I doubt anyone is going to get too upset over the Christian Post’s harshest critique of the cartoon (”the cartoonist portrayed God as cranky, befuddled, a user of profanity and not omniscient”), or Wood’s whiney theological guess that since God “is multi-lingual, [Woods is] sure He doesn’t have problems understanding any prayers.” The cartoonist, Pat Oliphant, is still alive as far as I know. Pentacostalists might believe that God routinely demonstrates his existence not to cure disease or alleviate suffering, but to rile up excited, agitated crowds of pre-committed believers in moments of furious ecstasy, but I doubt that even they are any danger to the cartoonist.

So what is the danger? The danger is that the Washington Post, fearing for its advertising dollars, will kill the cartoon and take the cartoonist off their rolls. The danger is appeasement. The danger is treating any ridiculous religious superstition as if it were off-limits to even being mentioned, much less criticized, as if we’re supposed to act like the profound national interest in protecting the rights of inane babble trumps the freedom of speech or the principle of free inquiry.

CHRC Embarrasses Canada…Again

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

The Canadian Human Rights Commission (CHRC) has once again tarnished academia’s perception of Canada, and they didn’t even do anything this time.

The American Political Science Association (APSA) is planning on holding its next annual conference in Toronto, but a number of its members are launching a petition to the APSA calling for it to be relocated because of the CHRC’s persecution of those practicing freedom of speech.  They’re afraid that human rights complaints will be taken to the CHRC, as was the case when Macleans printed a controversial Mark Steyn article, and when Ezra Levant published the Danish Mohamed cartoons.  The word irony doesn’t even do justice to the absurdity of a commission designed to stand for human rights standing stridently against one of the most fundamental human rights.

The petition is gaining strong support among APSA members because they, if anyone, know that freedom of expression is necessary for intellectual discussion.  Without it, we leave some of the most pressing issues unaddressed, especially ones endemic to much of the APSA’s contemporary discussion – that is, the growing threat of Islamic terrorism and the Muslim world’s neglect to effectively challenge it – a topic that both Mark Steyn and Ezra Levant were martyred for.

So once again, the CHRC has embarrassed Canada.  One would think that something that stands against itself would self-destruct.   Lets hope that this happens soon enough.

For more information on the absurdity of the Canadian Human Rights Commission visit Canadian Human Rights Commission EXPOSED!

South Park + Free Speech = A Bad Day for Religion Part 1

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

South Park (hereafter referred to as SP) is arguably the funniest show on TV.  To many, it is a source of middle ground social commentary.  To me, it is a beacon of hope in a media gone astray with political correctness.  SP transcends political correctness by making use of its right to free speech, and what better way to promote free speech then to attack that which is held most sacred to many Americans – religion.  In fact, 16 episodes of the 11 seasons so far have dealt primarily with “that which is most sacred”, with certain figures and themes popping up on other occasions.

Not only does the content about religion promote free speech, the controversy of this content perpetuates SP’s intent.  Stemming from my love of the show, I’ve decided to take an in depth look at how religion is represented in South Park, and show you how nothing is taboo when you’re an equal opportunity offender.  This week’s post will be on Scientology.

Part 1: Scientology

If there’s any religion (if you can even call it one) that SP has ripped apart piece by piece, it’s Scientology – better known as the Church Cult of Scientology (COS).  Two episodes of SP have dealt with debunking and mocking COS.  The first appearance of COS appeared in “Super Best Friends”.  In this episode, the magician David Blaine creates a cult following that is strikingly reminiscent of COS.  Unfortunately, the episode didn’t actually reference COS.  This didn’t happen until season 9 when Parker and Stone figured it was time to deal out the damage that COS deserved in the episode “Trapped in the Closet”.  To anyone who knows anything about COS, the story is completely absurd, a fact which Parker and Stone make vividly clear in this episode as they caption a visual interpretation of Scientology’s creation story with “This is what Scientologists actually believe.”

What’s funny about this is that the story itself is hilarious, so all SP had to do was show it to the viewers.

Many other parts of this episode completely lampooned this religious cult.  The start of the show has Stan looking for something free to do and comes across a Scientology church that is offering free e-meter tests.  Inside the church everything is ethereal and everyone is overly excited about life.  To say that SP doesn’t try to make Scientology look like a cult in this scene would be more patently absurd than Tom Cruise on Oprah’s couch.  After Stan takes the “free” test the tester tells him:

“… you are one messed-up kid… I’m afraid that you are completely miserable and totally depressed…there’s certainly no question that you are a perfect candidate for Scientology.”

Stan, a young and ignorant child, is helpless against these claims.

We all know that COS is in it for the Benjamins. SP makes this known by having Stan tell a crowd that “Scientology is just a big fat global scam” at the end of the episode.  SP goes one step further, by having the president of COS claim “You don’t actually believe this crap, do you?? Dummy! Brainwashed alien souls?? E-meters and thetan levels??.”

As sure as Parker and Stone were this episode would offend Scientologists, Isaac Hayes – the Scientology practicing voice of Chef – quit the show.  And that wasn’t the only negative outcome of the episode.  Viacom, who owns comedy central, had the original airing of the show pulled because of the portrayal of Tom Cruise.  Cruise threatened to back out of Mission Impossible 3 endorsements if Paramount, who is owned by Viacom, didn’t tell comedy central to pull it.  Cruise also threatened to sue SP.  Parker and Stone predicted this would happen and so added this little ditty to the end of the episode:

Stan: Look, everybody, we’re all looking for answer, you know. We all want to understand who we are and where we come from, but… sometimes we want to know the answers so badly that we… believe just about anything.
Man 2: Huh?
Woman: What?
Stan: [takes off his laurel] I’m not the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard. And… Scientology is just a big fat global scam.
Brian: Oh! We are gonna sue you!
Stan: What??
COS President: Yeah, you think you can say our religion is a lie?! We’ll sue you, buddy!
Stan: YOU told me it was a lie!
President: Ho, now you’re puttin’ words in MY mouth! You are sooo sued!
Man 3: You can’t make fun of Scientology, kid! We are gonna sue your ass AND your balls!
Crowd: Yeah, that’s right!
COS President: How dare you mock our faith, you little punk?! You’ll be hearing from our lawyers tomorrow!
Field Reporter: We’ve just had an incredible development here, Mitch. Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and R. Kelly, have all come out of the closet! [The three of them come out the front door and Cruise releases R. Kelly, who moves off and out of view.]
Cruise: [approaches Stan] So you’re NOT the prophet, huh?! You made me look stupid! I’m gonna sue you too!
Stan: Well fine! Go ahead and sue me!
Cruise: I will! I’ll sue you in England!
COS President: You are so sued, kid!
Stan: Well go on, then! Sue me!
COS President: We’re going to!
Stan: Okay, good! Do it! I’m not scared of you! Sue me!

This one episode caused the loss of a beloved character, almost ruined their contract with Comedy Central, and nearly catapulted them into a lawsuit with Tom Cruise, all of which SP predicted would happen, and yet they decided to forge along anyways in the name of free speech.  Kudos South Park, kudos.

Up next week is Part 2: Christianity