The Many Faces of Jesus

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The Many Faces of Jesus

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Sami Snyder - August 18th, 2008 in List 0 votes Vote Up! Vote Down!

Mitsuo Matayoshi

Mitsuo Matayoshi
A Japanese politician, Mitsuo Matayoshi promises to bring about judgment day, but only after he is elected Prime Minister of Japan, and then appointed General Secretary of the UN. Then he will be strong enough both politically and religiously to rule the world and be able to do the Last Judgment. After being dead for over 2000 years, the Zombie’s…er…I mean, Jesus’ powers are greatly weakened. It’s his devout followers responsibility to help him achieve his almighty greatness. Oh, and just in case you thought of running against him in elections, he will always try to persuade you to commit suicide.

Jim Jones
A man who started his own branch of Christianity, he had convinced himself and all his followers that he was Jesus. He healed like Jesus, through loyal followers helping him, and even promised an after life on another planet. Of course, he had his moments, like when he moved his congregation of over 900 people to a tiny island off the coast of California, then had an armed guard make sure no one ran away. He also made people prove their loyalty and trust in their Savior, by practicing suicide, something I was unaware you could practice. In the end, they all committed suicide by drinking his favorite flavor of Flavor-Aid: Cyanide! I bet that tasted yummy. Of course that is if you consider being given the option to either poison yourself or be shot suicide. Now that’s a “just” God for you.

David Icke
Now David doesn’t claim to be Jesus, just the Son of God, but he is trying to be our Savior…from the reptiles. Apparently, unbeknown to us, reptilian aliens came and mated with the humans. They are the root of all sin, and the “half breeds” they created are possessed. They can even blend in with us if they drink human blood. Almost every world leader was one, or their slave. These reptilians can also shape shift. His purpose is to inform us of these dangerous beings, and protect us. We thank you, David, we really do. You should run for Jesus Christ. Amen.